How Not to Go Broke Over the Holidays: Your Soft Life Survival Guide for Black Friday and Beyond
- Adrienne Evans
- Nov 27
- 5 min read
Updated: 7 days ago
Hi lovely,
Happy Thanksgiving. I hope today feels warm, grounded, and full of good food and good people. Before you slide into that delicious post-meal nap, I want to catch you for a moment — because tomorrow is the real test of your soft-life discipline.
Black Friday.
And listen, the way those “amazing deals” are waiting to jump you at midnight? If you’re not careful, they’ll undo a whole year of progress and drop you straight into a January full of overdraft fees, maxed-out cards, and financial regret.
But it doesn’t have to be that way. You can enjoy the holidays, treat yourself, show up for people you care about, and still walk into 2026 with your coins intact. Let’s talk about how.
The Real Black Friday Story: Retailers Had a Plan — And It Wasn’t About You
The truth is, Black Friday wasn’t created to “help” you save money.
In the 1950s, Philadelphia police officers started calling the day after Thanksgiving “Black Friday” because the city was in complete chaos. Shoppers everywhere. Traffic everywhere. Overtime shifts everywhere. Retailers hated that negativity, so in the 1980s they repackaged it with a cuter spin:
“This is the day stores go from being in the red to being in the black.”
In other words:
This is the day they make money — not the day you save it.
And when you think about the pressure, the emails, the countdown timers, the artificial scarcity… it all tracks. Their job is to increase profits. Your job is to protect your peace and your pockets.
The Numbers Don’t Lie — And They Matter for Black Women
Holiday spending is a whole season by itself. Americans are expected to spend an average of $1,595 on holiday shopping this year, and 2025 is on track to be the first trillion-dollar holiday shopping season.
Now, here’s where it gets real for us:
Black buying power hit $1.8 trillion in 2024. We spend more during the holidays than any other time of year, and beauty, fragrance, home, and lifestyle brands aggressively target us because they know we show up.
But many Black women are also carrying higher levels of financial pressure:
• Seventy-two percent of Black students carry student loan debt.
• Women of color are 20% more likely to owe student loans than men.
• Essentials eat up about 80% of the average Black household’s annual spending.
So when the holiday season hits? That remaining 20% becomes prime territory for overspending, guilt spending, and buying to prove something — to ourselves or to others.
The holidays are emotional. Retailers know that. And they use it.
Why Black Friday Makes Us Lose Our Minds
There is real psychology at play here.
Scarcity headlines. Countdown clocks. “Only 10 left!” messaging. These tactics create a sense of urgency that shifts our decision-making from intentional to impulsive.
And then there’s the sneakiest money lie:
“I’m saving money by spending money.”
If you weren’t planning to buy it, you didn’t save anything — you spent.
Black Friday is engineered to short-circuit your logic. But awareness is power. And once you recognize the game, you don’t play it the same way.
The Cost of Going Broke for the Holidays
Picture this:
It’s January.
Your credit card statement looks like a crime scene.
The minimum payments eat half your paycheck.
Everything you bought is now collecting 20%+ interest.
Your bank account is gasping for air.
Every pending charge feels like a jump scare.
That’s not a soft life.
Soft life means comfort, peace, and breathing room — not stress and “no-buy January.”
Your Soft Life Holiday Money Strategy
You’re about to shop smarter — not harder.
Step 1: Decide Your Real Number
The amount you can spend without debt, panic, or touching your emergency fund.
Step 2: Allocate Intentionally
Break your number down into:
• Gifts
• Travel
• Hosting/food
• Treats for yourself
Yes, treats. This isn’t deprivation. It’s strategy.
Step 3: Make It Concrete
If you overspend easily, shop with cash or debit. When the money is gone, you’re done.
The Black Friday Survival Rules
Rule 1: Make Your List First
Decide what you need before looking at one single sale.
Rule 2: Use the 24-Hour Rule
If it wasn’t on your list, wait a day. If the desire is real, it’ll survive the pause.
Rule 3: Unsubscribe From Temptation
Emails are engineered to break your discipline. Remove the noise.
Rule 4: Track Everything
Keep a running total in your Notes app or on paper. Seeing the numbers keeps you grounded.
Soft Life Purchases That Are Actually Worth It
If you’ve already budgeted for small luxuries, here are categories that pay off long after December:
Quality Skincare Sets
Useful, long-lasting, and genuinely part of self-care.
Cozy Home Essentials
Throws, candles, bedding — anything that makes your everyday environment softer and calmer.
Kitchen Tools That Save You Time
Ease in your daily routine is a soft-life investment.
Useful Tech Accessories
Anything that reduces friction or simplifies your day-to-day.
The question to ask:
Will this matter to me in three months or am I just caught in the hype?
How to Handle the Emotional Pressure
Family
You do not owe anyone debt to prove your love.
FOMO
The real fear should be losing your financial peace, not missing a sale.
Gift-Giving
Thoughtful > Expensive
It’s the meaning, not the price tag.
Experiences > Stuff
Memories last longer than clutter.
Honest Conversations > Silent Resentment
Talking early costs less than fixing later.
Your value does not rise or fall with the price of the gifts you give.
Imagine the January Version of You
Visualize this:
It’s January 2, 2025.
You had a beautiful holiday.
You treated yourself, you showed up for the people you love, and you still have money in the bank.
No financial hangover.
No shame.
No stress.
That’s the soft life.
That’s wealth-building without burnout.
That’s you choosing ease over chaos.
Your Black Friday Action Plan
Before the sales hit, do this:
Decide your total holiday budget
Break it down by category
Make your shopping list
Unsubscribe from promo emails
Track every single purchase
Save this guide for when temptation hits
Black Friday is designed to get retailers “in the black.”
But you’re building a soft life — and that means your financial peace comes first.
Ready to Protect Your Coins and Build Real Wealth?
Grab my free Soft Life Money Guide for the practical strategies that actually work for real women building real wealth — no shame, no jargon, just clarity.
What are your biggest struggles with holiday spending? Share them below — let’s talk through it together.
Disclaimer: This blog post is for informational and educational purposes only and is not financial advice. Every financial situation is unique. Please consult a qualified financial professional before making financial decisions.
© 2025 A Lynn Financial. All rights reserved.
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